#nofilter

This box carried so many versions of me, some I knew, others I had no clue. It was filled to the brim with parts given to me by different people; I just took the ones that made the most sense. I took the parts that resonated with me most, and I made them one. One whole thing, one whole me, because I didn’t give myself a chance to have a say on my own self.

All the chapters that I had completed, I flipped back through those pages. I read through the shitty ones that didn’t mean me any good; it was like I was torturing myself. Flipping through each page of every character that had me fucked up. I thought about every villain in my story and wanted to wage war with them all over again. It was like, just in case I didn’t do enough then, if I didn’t react bitchy enough, here’s a bigger bitch.

I have questions and concerns because, for one, I don’t want to date any individual who is looking at me and an 18-year-old with the same set of eyes. Perversion isn’t talked about enough or taken seriously enough for me. It made me realize how women once saw me and how often young girls are on the receiving end of women’s projections and insecurities.