Worlds

Lately I have been noticing all the worlds that exist. There are so many worlds. I used to ask myself are other worlds worth the visit in comparison to my own.

Sometimes I feel like the world is fucked. Like everyone is in survival mode. It seems like everyone is just trying at this point. No one has it figured out and everything is going to shit. I’ll call that world reality.

However, social media saves the day and reminds me of all these alternate realities. The rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer, and everything between just stays the same it seems like. Really, it’s all the same, same old tired-ass cycle. I see so many worlds online and granted that is what it’s there for. However, it just really puts it all in perspective.

There’s influencer culture that appears to have it all, materialistically. From the outside looking in, it seems as though they choose how they want to spend every single moment of their day while getting paid to do it. I guess that’s why people lack empathy for influencers because no one has ever forced anyone to be a content creator.

It seems like a path that is filled with choices because that is what’s shown. Whether it’s short-form or long-form content, the audience gets to view all the choices that influencers have and the decisions that they make. The perceptions are formed based on what’s being presented to the viewer. From a viewer’s perspective, it looks like extreme highs; money, traveling, free access, brand deals, sponsorships, industry events, etc. The list goes on because on a screen it looks like a life of constant luxury.

Then there are the lows that are shown when some sort of transparency wants to happen. I witness audiences consistently having a very low tolerance for the lows. Which typically looks like mental health issues, ghosting or temporary breaks, rebranding, and breakups; platonic or romantic. When these things are spoken about, when transparency happens, it is often a lack of understanding and compassion for those who appear to be wealthy.

It’s like you must serve the lows with a side of drama for anyone to actually care. The lows must come with arguments, confrontation, or opposing sides. I question if it is because the content from influencers is also used as an escape rather than entertainment? Are the viewers seeing what the possibilities are rather than what the reality is?

Because it is easy to assume what you would do if you had access to something that you don’t already have. So once the reality is spoken about, the lows, is it rejected because its disappointing? Is it hard to accept because no one wants to equate success or wealth to hardship or anything negative? Especially when you are currently experiencing lows.

If I am working to get out of this trap known as survival mode, then why would I want to listen to someone who appears to be where I aspire to be talk about the same shit that I am going through. The difference is I am broke, and you are not so of course, I can only imagine the convenience of having “rich problems”. But how is that fair? Why are we so quick to eliminate mental health problems when it’s tied to wealth?

These points still stand for celebrity culture, everything is more extreme, intense, and heightened in celebrity culture and I do mean that in the darkest way ever. That seems like what it almost must become to be looked at as more than entertainment. Celebrity culture is supposed to sell us a dream, a beautiful, luxurious life that is supposed to look happy and filled with wish fulfillment. It’s supposed to look out of reach but attainable to whoever is suitable for the masses.  

Possibility feeds the system while creating fandom. Because greatness can only be witnessed not experienced or there will be too much access? Then who will stand out? Who will get to be the chosen few? And where would that leave room for the fantasy? Was it ever about talent?

Talent is too much about the audience and this is strictly transactional. Reaping the benefits even if you must turn pain into profit, headlines, paparazzi, documentaries, or interviews. It’s all viewed as one big money grab. It seems as though things are always being done for the plot until some sort of injustice, health scare, or some form of abuse, substance, verbal, or physical happens.

Sometimes I ponder on the saying “ignorance is bliss” because really, the more you know. I’ve been mourning the version of me that was once naïve and gullible. The teenage girl and the early 20-something who just didn’t care. She never took life too seriously because it was like she had an understanding that life wasn’t worth stressing about.

Life was just worth living. It was like she naturally grasped the concept of just going with the flow of things, whatever that meant at the time. I often miss the version of me that was still the wild and free Sagittarius, now I’m Sagittarius, the philosopher. Very fucking on brand of me, I know!

The more aware you are and the more you surround yourself with individuals who are equally aware the more real shit gets. Aware individuals often talk about inner peace and being the cocreator of reality. There’s an impression of some profound understanding of life. Like an inner world has awakened inside of these individuals and they are unfazed by the world that is outside of them.

There was a phase in my life when I felt like I would heal one wound and then find another one. A healing journey seems never ending and it really is. As individuals, as life happens and continues to happen, I guess you eventually find your own paths, shortcuts, or quick fixes just like everyone else. I have found my own way of doing things because I tend to my own world.

I have learned how to maintain my inner world and what that upkeep looks like. Through healing and self-devotion, I have mastered my inner world. I have gained an understanding of what it means to be the co-creator of my reality. I have been in a committed relationship with self-love, self-discipline, and self-devotion.

So, is ignorance the easy way out? I know I’m being broad here but just let it resonate how it should. I don’t have all my shit together, but I continue to figure my shit out. To me, that’s all that matters, showing up for myself. The more I show up for myself, the more I slow down. I am now starting to understand why there are some people who are never in a rush.

Anxiety, fear, doubt, and a lack of confidence used to take up space in my inner world. For a long time, it was that world that I had created all on my own. Every bit of negativity that I had entertained took up space in my world. It wasn’t until it started showing up outside of myself in the most obvious way that I knew it was time to get my shit together.

So, I guess ignorance can be bliss because it creates some sort of contentment. Could ignorance be a conscious choice? Could it be used as a shield? Can awareness create fear? The more you know, it begins to feel like a sacrificial investment into the unknown.